Aspiring to balance creativity and melancholy.

You're the one millionth person to scroll down!

Well… there aren't any cookies or trackers on this site so I actually don't know if that's true or not, but isn't it nice to feel special?

I don't see why facts should spoil a good story, especially if it's bringing happiness. I hope you'll enjoy mine.

In 2022, while participating in BBC Writersroom's Write Across programme, Thomas wrote a 255-word autobiography with illeism in an attempt to separate his contradictory personal and professional selves. This current version was rewritten in August 2023; it contains thirty fewer words, but the same lazy reference to BBC.

Uncomfortable acknowledging achievements, Thomas makes vague allusions to award-winning work which bears no significance to his everyday life. He overcompensates with self-deprecation—or “sarcastic” pretentiousness—as he narcissistically assumed your visit here, hoping to consider your curiosity piqued.

Though ‘filmmaker and photographer’ would be apt, internally he considers himself a ‘multi-hyphenate’ on account of his self-conceited delusions.

Swinging from branch to branch, Thomas blackmailed persuaded production companies to let him explore new roles and develop skills including animation, editing, colouring, and cinematography. His ever-expanding skillset held him subservient to the film industry for over a decade before experiencing burnout and a quarter-life crisis.

To distract from chronic pain while sitting at home struggling to walk, Thomas writes scripts, poems, and unnecessarily superfluous, ironic arrangements of letters from the ISO basic Latin alphabet.

Since registering this domain in 2012, Thomas has continually struggled to maintain an up-to-date digital representation of his capricious character.

In an abrupt conclusion, Thomas is an advocate for change. He's trying to emotionally, spiritually, and mentally grow, whilst still being able to afford to feed his cats.

Data-harvesting bots weren't a concern when this site first went live in 2012, but after a decade of offers of local thrills, penis pills, and Nigerian wills, I'm hesitant to display my email in plaintext.

To experiment with spam prevention and prove you're human, ignore the email address in the next paragraph.

me@thomasmcnaught.co.uk is where to send email-scraping enquiries, naively hoping to mislead bots whose code finishes once an email is detected.

To complain about this frustratingly needless process, please contact my actual email, by replacing me with human in the above address.

If alternatively you'd like to contact me via social media, please exercise caution when accelerating your DeLorean to 88MPH.